In Medias Res

History:  I blogged from April 2002 until some point in 2010.  The original blog still exists as a historical document; the bulk of the posts involve grad school (not the bulk of the years; the bulk of the posts— why read literary theory at 3 AM when you could project your stream-of-consciousness ramblings into cyberspace?).

That blog was tangential and devoid of deeper meaning.  Why change now?  In all seriousness, some people can write about “deeper issues” and present them for public consumption in a meaningful way.  I can’t.  Not that I do tangential rambling well, either, but no rules, mate, and all that.  Deep can be found in my journal (Day One, best app ever– if you don’t take anything else about this post seriously, at least read that review and consider that app).  My password is [redacted].

So welcome.

Warning:  expect no coherence, no theme, no inspiration, etc.  No substantial content, really.  In the words of a great sage (James Garcia, Reno 911!), “God vomited and there was Jackie.”  Well, God vomited again, and here’s this blog.

I hope everybody is feeling welcome now.  I wasn’t a debutante, so proper introductions really aren’t my strong point.

Let’s begin.

Maybe I should do one of those get-to-know you things?  That sounds good.  With the help of Dr. Google, I have diagnosed myself with some (further) psychiatric disorders this week.  You know, for when talking about the same-old same-old gets boring.

*Social (pragmatic) communication disorder

*Delusional disorder (mixed subtype, with bizarre content)
*Existential anxiety [1]

*Agyrophobia

*Barophobia

*Friggatriskaidekaphobia
*Koumpounophobia
*Xanthophobia

*Agalmatophilia
*Forniphilia
*Telephone scatologia [2]

*Pseudocyesis

[3]
*Caffeine Use Disorder [4]
*Unspecified Caffeine-Related Disorder
*Other Cannabis-Induced Disorders

*Male Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder [5]
*Pyromania

*Encopresis [6]
*Capgras Syndrome
*Fregoli Syndrome
*Cotard Delusion
*Reduplicative Paramnesia
*Alien Hand Syndrome

*Alice in Wonderland Syndrome

*Jerusalem Syndrome

[7]
*Paris Syndrome

*Foreign Accent Syndrome

clicky clack here
*Stendhal Syndrome
*Apotemnophilia

*Olfactory reference syndrome

Gentle readers, I hope you have enjoyed this first post (if you’re still reading at this point).  Comments welcome, unless you’re telling me where I’m bound.

[1] This is how I'm using my MA.  It seems worth it.

[2] Chronic butt-dialing is not yet a recognized disorder.  But it should be.

[3] I'm not in favor of abstinence-only sex ed.  I am in favor of showing Sixteen and Pregnant and playing this song over the intercom before announcements every morning.

[4] I can quit whenever I want.

[5] I am aware that says "male."  This is a binary-free blog.  Though I did think it said "hyper," not "hypo."

[6] If this applies to you, please be advised that my email is broken.  Forever.

[7] Do you know how long it took me to find that particular version?  Watch the damn video.

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