I didn’t watch the Super Bowl. I don’t have a TV, and I was feeling blah to the extreme Sunday [insert dull medical story] and didn’t go anywhere. I’m not that interested in pro football, and, until Sunday evening, I didn’t know who was playing (thank you, Twitter!).
So: This is Super Bowl commentary presented by a person who didn’t watch it. What you’ve got here is the social media Super Bowl experience: running commentary on a game you’re not actually viewing. If you can wipe the game from your mind long enough to imagine this, you’ll see it’s pretty surreal. This also features my homegrown 3-part Super Bowl video angst series, which will probably feature heavily in my commitment hearing.
I read an article on Autostraddle, in their weekly recipe roundup, about Super Bowl foods (January 31; FYI, my goal is to try to make the roasted vegetable macaroni and cheese cups and stuffed portobello pizzas, because I need to get to cooking ). I post a comment: “Is it an option to make some food items and consume while watching Netflix?” This currently has the most likes of any comment on that article, which probably says something about the readership.
By game day, I figured it was time to figure out Who was versus-ing Who. I dug into my Super Bowl-related knowledge, and came up with this:
Okay, so is THIS the game that’s on tonight?
I give up. I know there’s code showing, and I have no idea why. I’ve looked at visual and text, and for the life of me, I don’t see what’s up.
Note: This was on YouTube (many times) yesterday; as of today, all versions are gone due to copyright (I did actually mistakenly think I was posting the official version). This one may disappear, too; I couldn’t tell about copyright. It’s the 1985 Chicago Bears “Super Bowl Shuffle.” 
Then the tweeting began:
Of course, I wasn’t actually following anyone remotely qualified to say anything ESPN-esque about the game. 
It’s good to know that you can call yourself a “Patriot” in the 21st century and not spend all your time yelling at feminists on Twitter.
In theory. And yet I was called a fascist and told “zeke heil” [sic] today (after stating that while we disagreed, I respected the individual’s right to state an opinion)
’85 Bears Super Bowl look on point. #popcornceilinglyfe
 Start cooking source: everybody.
 Currently having a collective Angel Haze-related meltdown, because life goes on.
 This song is actually still worthy of being taken seriously. They say: “Now we’re not doing this because we’re greedy, the Bears are doing it to feed the needy.” In 1985, all profits ($300,000) from the song did indeed go to the Chicago Community Trust, which serves families in need. The involved players’ promise to keep profits directed towards those in need has never changed; in 2014, someone (not in any way involved with the team or the production of the video) tried to claim copyright to appropriate profits. She was immediately sued by a group of the players; they won, and profits continue to go those they were intended to benefit. (source)
 This also seems like a good place to repeat my conviction that the revolution will be tweeted. The “comrades” are not going to “come rally,” but they’ll have a lot of 140-character remarks to make. From the couch.
 See upcoming thesis on commonalities among those who professed support for the ’85 Bears on social media.
 I read that linked article about fair use and copyright. I need a lawyer to advise me if copyrighting this phrase is possible. Also, look for yet another Kickstarter to raise the electronic filing fee if so.
 Also, if you have my copy of that book (same title as essay), give it back. My DFW collection is -1. 
 Furthermore, if you’ve got Readme, that one has been gone a LONG time, it’s a hardback, and it’s time to reunite it with its owner. 
 Oooh, I misclicked when I was looking at the Readme page, and he has a new novel due in May! 880 pages, billed as postcyberpunk– sounds about right. 
 These footnotes are getting meta or Infinite Jest or something. I feel guilty for liking Neal Stephenson, because he’s a little problematic in his novels and a lot as a person. At any rate, I more or less expect him to announce any day now from an undisclosed location that he’s joined an extremist survivalist group, burned as his government-issued ID, and will subsist on bartering, etc. You read it here.