I’ve Been Called Many Things, But Never an Intellectual

This is a complete text exchange with my brother, reproduced with his permission.  And yes, he even said I could say we’re related.  I guess he’s already planning to go into Witness Protection or something.

I could have included a picture of him, but I’d like him to continue to speak to me.  The post image is one of the first known images of Bradshaw (see below) instead.  Like most pictures, it’s undated.  I choose to withhold my time period guess that’s based on when I had that romper (which we called “one-piece suits” then).

Title:  Tallulah Bankhead, yet again.  And now that I know that there’s going to be a movie about her, that kind of wrecks my frequent use of quotations from her as post titles.  Hey, people:  you saw it here– before it was cool!


Also, uh, no offense to Marxists, any sundry variety of persons on the communist spectrum, Socratics, bearded persons, Germans, cats with attitude problems, fans of the Marx brothers, or anything else covered here.  I have my own opinions (as does he) on a variety of those things; they’re just not represented in this exchange.  This all just crashed into puns after the initial random bit about cats; anything is fair game.


Him, left.  Me, right.


Context:  Seawright and Bradshaw are cats (named after football players) who showed up at our house when we were children; Seawright was pretty vicious and didn’t hang around.  Bradshaw– how do I put this?– once smacked a pit bull across the face because he was annoying her, and that was her general attitude about life in general.  This didn’t stop us from spoiling her, etc.

You might think she's annoyed with the bow situation. This actually is just pretty much representative.

You might think she’s annoyed with the bow situation. This actually is just pretty much representative.


No intro; first line is beginning.

Thinking about it, Seawright is a pretty good cat name.

Sea legs?  Sea worthy?

Language games?

I dunno.  It just seems fitting.

More so than Bradshaw?

Yeah, though she did own that one I’d say.

This desk? Yeah, it's mine now. Go away.

This desk? Yeah, it’s mine now. Go away.

I agree there.  But she did kind of own everything in existence.

Also very true.

Meditating on the football cats of fall?

Cat names in general

Pourquoi?

I dunno.  Train of thought went that way.  I usually just let it go

How philosophical of you.  Very Socratic

Indeed.  I often find myself quoting him.

–here’s where it goes downhill into strictly joke/pun territory–

“I drank what?”

huh huh huh

All time classic

Brings the house down

or THE CAVE

Like that Marx book

Das Cavital

Masses of people enjoyed that one

Like opium

Recommend over religion by many leading bearded Germans

The devil (internet) made me do it. I didn't make this, by the way. Twitter is probably responsible.

The devil (internet) made me do it. I didn’t make this, by the way. Twitter is probably responsible.

Try the new scented version.

Smells like clean fresh lenin.

And try it Mao!

Quit stalin

You’re just Putin this off

I always preferred his brother Groucho anyway

Quit Harping on it

My philosophy books have not made the move yet, so here's my representation of WWII (100% realism guaranteed). Please note that this is the

My philosophy books have not made the move yet, so here’s my representation of WWII (100% realism guaranteed). Please note that this is the “big bestseller” that’s “now the great movie!” And it cost 95 cents.  BRING BACK PAPERBACKS FOR .95 CENTS!  Tangential (see:  Stalin), but I wanted to bring up the cheap paperbacks, pretty much.


Again, please note that everyone here is ostensibly an adult.

Really, though, probably only Bradshaw was.


There's been speculation about what would happen if it had been possible to put Alice in Bradshaw in the same room. The most popular theory involves matter/antimatter and combustion.

There’s been speculation about what would happen if it had been possible to put Alice and Bradshaw in the same room. The most popular theory involves matter/antimatter and combustion.  After reading the above, discussing cat theoretical physics shouldn’t really seem all that surprising.

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